January 2015
Thursday, 29 January 2015
Test pilot
- Article Details
Classified:
Secret Jaaaaaaag Test Base, 0855 hrs CST
0855 hrs. Excited to have a day permit to actually drive the 3.8. It is after all nice to know that the brakes work BEFORE the Road Worthy test.
0910 hrs. Steering and brakes are surprisingly very good..but the engine coughs and misses with all but the tiniest bit of throttle. Bugger.
0945 hrs. Mayday to Stately Jag Manor. Chief Engineer will attend ASAP. Need to find Kitchener Bun and brew tea.
1017hrs. CE arrives. Is it fuel? Check carbs, mixtures, carb piston drop, etc etc etc.
1101hrs. Still runs like a pig. Hmmm. Not fuel then?
1105hrs. Check plug leads...hmmmm very high resistance.
1119hrs. Diagnosis #1. All six brand new "Champion" plug caps have essentially infinite resistance. IE they are buggered.
1120hrs. Cannibalize plug leads from conveniently co-located 4.2 FHC. Always helps to have a spare car...
1131hrs. Test drive. Better but still misses badly with throttle.
1141hrs. Recheck timing.
1141.00001hrs. Diagnosis #2 DOH. Some idiot has set timing to TDC.
1142hrs. Set timing to 10*BTDC. Car runs perfectly.
1145hrs. Have cups of tea and biscuits.
1205hrs. Car won't start.
1206hrs. Diagnosis #3. Battery is not charging.
1206.00001hrs. Apply battery charger.
1207hrs. Ham cheese and tomato sandwiches with mineral water.
1304hrs. Drive car to Statley Jag Manor. Total of 29 miles on clock. Runs beautifully. Really REALLY beautifully.
Executive Summary.
The Champion plug caps with the 10K ohm stickers are rubbish. This is the SECOND set we have had in 12 months that don't work.
I cannot be trusted with a timing light.
I cannot be trusted to rebuild a dynamo.
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